laramie

A friend of mine recently lost his job, and has clearly been down about it. I advised him to give himself some time to mourn, that there would be time enough later for practical matters.

After saying so, I realized that I just lost a job I loved, and I've been expecting myself to go forth and conquer new worlds without pause for grief or recovery.

I've been moving at half-speed in checking job boards and sending out resumes, re-designing the Craigslist ad, and feeling critical of myself for my slow progress. I'm behind on the rent. There's no money coming in. My practical side feels overwhelmed and near panic.

But then, I stop to meditate, and remind myself that I'm part of a something much bigger than myself, and my first job is to maintain my awareness of that, to breathe, to move, to do the little things that I can do: feed the cats, and myself, check the email, read a book, be gentle with myself while I deal with my sense of loss and all the fears, and establish a calmer state of mind in which I can make more reasonable choices than panic would lead me to do.