laramie | Calling All Nit-pickers!

Calling All Nit-pickers!

Or junior editors:

I've completed the initial versions of my flyers for Fantasy Images and Mudra art, and am soliciting feedback. Have I missed any typos? Is something not working? If this were your flyer would you want the buyers for the stores to see it, and expect them to use it without trouble?

Dreamspell Catalog

Mudra Art Catalog

and the order form

Thanks!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1:

The heading is "... Fairies", but the individual description is labeled "Faery".

The description for the Faery of Noontide should end with a period, not a colon.

Two of the Faery titles include "the" and two don't. I'd say it isn't necessary for any of them.

In the description under Dreamroost, "Where do dreams come to roost?" may work better than "Where to the dreams come to roost?"

Are you sure the unicorn's baby is a colt? Or would "foal" be a better description? [Well, you did say "nitpick"!]

Unicorn Spirit: All my editorial training tells me not to split words between lines in this sort of document. But that's just me, and you probably can't fit all the words in without hyphenating. But if there is a way to fix it.... ("Spirit of a unicorn"?)

Faery Girl: I think "Faery girls can be whatever they want to be" should end with a period, not a colon.

Is it possible to make the layout of Greeting Cards / Postcards consistent? It looks like there may be room to put the number on the same line as the description for all of them, e.g.
Greeting Cards FEGC1057
Postcards FEPC1077

The bottom line for the last item being lower than for the other three made my inner editor twitch. Is there a description that would take fewer words? Would using just "Faeries" instead of "Faery girls" change what you meant? It might create enough room to reduce the description by a line.

...Let me know if that's the kind of nit-picking you wanted, and I'll continue.

Yes; this is exactly the kind of feedback I was looking for. Thank you!

What is your deadline? My brain hit the wall just as I scrolled to page 2. I can look at the rest tomorrow if you don't need to be finished before then.

Tomorrow should be fine, thanks. I just want to get this out Friday.

"Bright spirits can join forces" -- maybe just "Bright spirits join forces"? In the picture, the joining isn't just potential, but actual.

A "were-cat, or dog, rabbit or bear" -> "were-cat, or -dog, -rabbit or
-bear"

Wishing Well: it looks like there's an extra space after "maiden, ".

The Inner Cat: "There's more to anyone than we think we are": the pronouns don't match. "There's more to us than we think we are".

Postcard prices: "fewer than 10", not "less than 10"

Thanks! I'll be implementing these changes soon.

Prices e.g. $0.75, not $-.75

Again, "fewer than 10", not "less than 10"

Are the "Focus" and "Love" pictures even? "Focus" looks ever so slightly higher.

"Warm Heart" looks slightly lower than the other pictures in the row.

"Life in the Abstract": "This series ... captures"

The names of the individual "Life in the Abstract" pictures don't need colons after them.

Or should I find a nit to pick so you know I looked at it?

I've found a nit of my own: the diagonal line leading to the definitions for 'PC' and 'GC.' I want to change it to a line composed of right angles.

Thanks for all your help!

Thanks for your help! I realized I still need to set up some webpages with Paypal codes to generate the item numbers for the 'Fine Art' page before I can print this thing...

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Calling All Nit-pickers!

Nit-picking's My Specialty

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Re: Nit-picking's My Specialty

Re: Nit-picking's My Specialty

Dreammspell brochure, page 2

Re: Dreammspell brochure, page 2

Mudra brochure

Order form looks good!

Re: Order form looks good!

Re: Mudra brochure